Allen Alley (R) Announces Another Run for Governor

Allen Alley announced his candidacy
for Governor. It is his second try for
the state's highest post and his third
run for a statewide office.

Springfield, Ore., February 12, 2013--This morning Allen Alley (R) announced his candidacy for Governor. This is his second Gubernatorial run, and his third for a statewide office. Alley announced his campaign at the Springfield Cabela's retail store where he unveiled his revamped image. This particular campaign kickoff was drastically different than his 2009 event.

Alley said, "I'm runnin' and gunnin'. I need y'all to stick by me like my trusty holster and sixshooter," as he tapped his open-carry revolver slung around his hip. "I'm the candidate that's tough on crime, easy on your pocketbook, and hard on bureaucrats."

Alley was wearing cowboy boots, jeans, a massive belt buckle, a western-style shirt, and white cowboy hat. Towards the end of his announcement, Alley tipped his hat and said, "Remember, I'm the good guy," then he gave a practiced wink to his cadre of campaign supporters near the podium.

Alley's theatrics weren't lost on the party hard-liners. Tim Smith, Oregon State Republicans Vice-Chairman was present. He noted, "I like the new look, it's something I can relate to. I just hope he's changed his position on abortion. Everything else sounds pretty good to me."

Smith was referring to the Achilles heel of Alley's last Gubernatorial run, which was his pro-choice position. Many thought it cost him the primary election to his opponent Chris Dudley, who had a more conservative position (although not well-articulated) and connected better with the Republican base. Dudley went on to lose a close race to the current Governor John Kitzhaber.

Allen Alley has chosen his close companion Lindsay Berschauer as his campaign consultant. Berschauer was the former Executive Director of the Oregon Transformation Project, a non-profit Alley started after his last campaign. Berschauer left that post recently to start her own political consulting firm, and has landed Alley as a client.

"I'm happy to have Allen as a client," said Berschauer. "We have a long-standing WORKING relationship and mutual respect. I think I'll bring a lot of polish to his campaign."

Oregon Governor, John Kitzhaber pictured in his
casual cowboy-style.

When asked what differences people could expect, Berschauer said, "We are going to out-cowboy Kitzhaber. There's a new sheriff in town, and it's Allen Alley!" Previewing some of Leona Consulting's new pizzazz for Alley, Berschauer announced, "Remember the 3' door hangars for Castandea? We are going to do something similar for Allen--although bigger and better. Allen is going to have 4' hangars in the shape of an assault rifle, and we will hang them by the trigger guard. Adults can read them and kids can play with them. They are going to be unforgettable--and 'sticky'."

When asked if she had any campaign tricks up her sleeve, Berschauer said that they have one idea worth mentioning, "We are going to deliver flaming bags of poop. Well, they really won't be on fire, they will have printed flames though. When you open the bag, there will be a variety of turds inside: SEIU, Portland school bonds, abortion, and the runaway state budget. These are all stinky ideas of the left. The lit drop is designed for low-information voter so they will get it. The bags will look like Kitzhaber's team left them as a prank."

Allen Alley recently finished his term as the Oregon State Party Chairman. He decided to leave, although had he run again, it may have been a difficult re-election. He left the party in disarray and there was a swarm of controversy in the second half of 2012. Alley will have to win back a large part of the Republican base, and it is perhaps why he has announced his campaign so early.

Although Alley has a new makeover, a few questions still remain about his position on abortion, and time will tell if he can win back the Republicans.